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Remember you cannot make somebody happy – happiness is an inside job! My German grandmother used to say, “ Hope is the last to die.” Yes, certainly there is always hope yet – baseline behavior aka normalcy as you and experience it is a long hike away for people with BPD.This contributes to the feeling of being emotionally drained in a partnership. The good news is that once in our thirties our energy level decreases naturally and hence even individuals with BPD will have less vigor at their disposal.The film Fatal Attraction (quite an excellent performance by Glenn Close) and the recent court case of Jodi Arias come to mind.What do all the films and print stories have in common? Dating a person with BPD is not part of your deal – or so you thought.As Marsha Linehan (1993), one of the foremost researchers in the treatment of BPD proclaims in her book Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder over 70% of patients with BPD present with histories of childhood sexual abuse.
Interesting enough, it is frequently the healthier mate seeking therapy to relieve himself from the immense relational pressures.Constant feelings of emptiness prompt her to seek stimulation from the outside.The partner becomes the main outlet for her entertainment, self-respect, or self-loathing – an overwhelming job to handle!Linehan (1993) developed a treatment approach for BPD called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).It’s a combination of Eastern Mindfulness Training and Western Cognitive Behavior Therapy.
The repertoire generally includes parasuicidal gestures – none life-threatening surface wrist, ankle and upper thigh cutting – or suicide threats that scare a person who never dealt with somebody who is unable to regulate her emotions. How can I fix it.” Well the answer is easy, “You can’t fix it!