Asperger dating service
While this is partially due to the insecurity caused by disproportionately experiencing various forms of social rejection for years and years, even people with AS who received predominantly positive reinforcement in their early lives can still feel detached and isolated due to their inability to fully communicate with others.
This could be compared to speaking a different language, although that analogy would imply that individuals with AS could at least “speak” to others with the condition, when in fact AS manifests itself so differently from person to person that we are generally as unable to relate to each other as we are with the non-AS population.
"For example, just because someone is on the spectrum, does not mean they have social anxiety," she said.
It advertises itself as a dating site for people with mental illnesses, not developmental issues, so I imagine that at first it might seem as though it's nothing like what you're looking for.
And indeed, my partner only chose that site because he believed at the time that he had Depression and Social Anxiety Disorder and had not yet realized that it was actually undiagnosed Aspergers that was troubling him.
I remember feeling disgust and then curiosity the first time someone explained the concept of “dating leagues” to me, or being stunned to learn that a girl who invites you to a hotel room to “just chill for a night” might actually mean the opposite of that, or that one who keeps postponing seeing you again is blowing you off. A lot of the “obvious” rules about dating are actually pretty arbitrary, so we aren’t instinctively aware of them.
Others with AS have told me about similar stories, all linked by a common theme: We experience dating, as we do all other social rituals, as non-native bumblers, struggling to comprehend a culture of Byzantine complexity (in our eyes) and lacking the unassailable logic of being entirely direct, straightforward, verbalized, and emotionless (which is clearly reasonable … I recently had a conversation with a friend who commented that people with AS should “just use common sense” when navigating the dating scene.
If we learn it at all, it’s because we’ve had others bluntly explain to us the “rules” regarding these and other related matters.