Dating church book geek dating questions
If I can get that 24-year-old single guy with a 38-year-old married man, then I have high hopes for how that 24-year-old will see, understand, and desire marriage.But then on top of that I think what you celebrate and how you celebrate is important.But in a day when so much nominalism passes for authentic maturity, give us a few simple marks of spiritual growth that a man or woman should be looking for in a potential spouse.I think what you are looking for is seriousness about growth in the person’s faith.I think the way that local churches can practically help godly marriages happen outside of telling single men to “man up” and telling single women to “stop waiting around to be active in your single life” — though I do think there is a space for telling single men and women this. What does it look like to serve, love, and encourage your wife? What does it look like to be a man of God in relation to your wife?Personally, I try to do this by having single men into our home. I will help set the table, and then afterwards that young man gets to help me do the dishes.To help find the right questions, we called on three not-yet-married friends who gave some time to thinking about the challenges faced by singles: Lore Ferguson, Paul Maxwell, and the recently engaged Marshall Segal.We ended up with these questions: The Bible commands Christians to marry “in the Lord,” that is, to marry other Christians (1 Corinthians ; 2 Corinthians ).
But if you are in a context in which you have watched the person’s godliness, you have marveled at their character, you have rejoiced in what God has done in them and through them, then speed isn’t a big factor. What drove the speed wasn’t a flare-up of emotions — it wasn’t a fear of loneliness, or desperation, like maybe this is my only shot. Rather, there was knowledge of his faithfulness to God, his desire to serve the Lord, and his seriousness about the things of God.And that is just my way of going: “Hey, this is a way that I serve my wife.” And then, while we do dishes, I tend to just talk about the ways that I try to make space for Lauren’s gifts.So, this is an intentional, organic kind of culture of discipleship that I hope is woven into the life of The Village. Whatever you normally do, can I just come and join you in that?I am going to be real cautious about saying there is such a thing as “too fast.” What I would rather ask is this: What’s driving the speed?If mere physical attraction or some kind of emotive, frilly, this-is-the-one weirdness is driving the speed, then, yes.
podcast and answered ten questions on singleness and dating.