Keeping office dating a secret
As an employer, the Angeleno included a non-fraternization clause in his new hire paperwork, but remembers the tell-tale signs of attraction well.“Employees would frequently schedule lunch time or breaks together, but the biggest giveaway was flirtatious touching,” says Hines.another department, or subsidiary) where on-the-job concerns are less pronounced, or are less visible to colleagues. Should I be secretive or open about the relationship? Hang out in each others’ offices with doors closed? For example: What if you’re both vying for a management position and only one person can get promoted – how can you keep similar career paths from colliding with spectacular effect? On the job, you may be asked to review others’ work, give unflattering feedback, or deliver unwelcome news – how can you keep your feelings for your partner from getting in the way of doing your job? Consider how you can carve out stress-relieving time and space for each of yourselves. Dating a coworker and office romances aren’t easy, but, as thousands of happy couples can tell you, they can often work out.When debating whether or not to keep an office romance on the hush, consider how colleagues and clients may react on learning the information – and how it may reflect on all parties involved. Think about propriety as well as others’ feelings before you speak. Grab happy hour drinks alone after a conference while the rest of the team chills at the bar? Talk out possible issues that may arise due to workplace complications in advance, e.g. Discuss possible workplace scenarios that may arise, agree to keep lines of communication with your partner open (and honest and constructive), and agree to talk through any issues that may arise. How well they shake out for colleagues and employers, well, it’s all in how much love and respect you show them — and how you choose to comport yourself.So, first and foremost, consider: What are my employer’s rules on office romance?Is there a formal policy against employees becoming romantically intertwined?“We (the group) would go to the same birthday parties, work functions, and dinners,” says Lam.“Our co-workers told us we would make a great couple, but we didn’t think anything of it until he drove me home one day.” The couple decided to come clean with their closest colleagues, who initially made some jokes.
“You can tell when workers are dating by their timing – they stop talking when people are around, never can be found at the same place at the same time, and show up at work two minutes apart,” says Phillips.“In the food and beverage industry, the end of work often marks the beginning of play without a change of venue. Sure, everyone thinks about what it’d be like dating that woman every male in the office talks about, but it’s trickier than meeting someone out at a bar and dating. On the upside, the idea of dating a coworker is, technically, less frightening than that of meeting random strangers somewhere else or romancing someone you met online after bonding over your shared love of Dobermans and duck-faced selfies.If so, and you run the risk of violating it, maybe it’s best to take a pass until someone gets another gig – serious job and career fallout could follow if you choose to date. If you do decide to proceed, ponder as well: Is there a way to make things easier for all parties involved?Perhaps it’s best for someone to transfer elsewhere in the organization (i.e. You two lovebirds may wind up seeing each other way too much, since you’re spending workplace as well as leisure hours together. Plan in advance with your partner what your exit plan will be if relationship fizzles – and how you’ll continue to enjoy a good working relationship if you find yourselves still having to do business together.
To be blunt, there are rules to these sort of things.