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" worries Eli."I picture her on the couch in sweatpants with a box of tissues watching Lifetime movies," says Christopher, a 37-year-old former online dater from Milwaukee, WI."Let me determine if you're laid-back," says David Wygant, a dating coach and author of . That's what will resonate with someone."You say: I'm old-fashioned and have traditional values.
He hears: I won't have sex with you until we're married. "You could mean you like having the car door opened for you," says Wygant, but men read into this terminology that you don't believe in sex before marriage.
"People who live a comfortable lifestyle want someone who can do the things they do, but it's not necessary to say that outright," says e Flirt founder Laurie Davis, whose book is due out in 2013.
Instead, Davis suggests searching for people within your income bracket (which is an option on many sites, though a study by dating site Ok Cupid revealed that people typically inflate this number by 20%) or looking for other clues in their profiles, such as similar favorite travel destinations. He hears: I've been burned, and I have major trust issues. "You're not going to scare off the liars," cautions Evan Marc Katz, a dating coach and author of .
Even if you don't, both Wygant and Katz say not to mention it in your profile.
Don't worry about wasting your time on men only looking for sex.
Besides, "starting your relationship based on a lie isn't the best way to begin 'happily ever after,'" says Davis.
In fact, I don't think I can actually meet you."If you feel like you have to say this you're probably unsure about online dating to begin with," says Davis.
You might, however, scare off an honest man who fears you're carrying baggage from a previous relationship.
"Good guys may think you sound angry and bitter," says Katz. If your world revolves around your children, where would a guy fit in?
That means he might worry he'll invest time messaging you only to find you won't meet in person.
He's on there too, and likely so are some of your friends and colleagues, so there's no need to be embarrassed.
You want someone whose lifestyle complements yours, not someone fixated on the birth date on your driver's license. He hears: I work 60 hours a week, teach yoga on the side and am taking classes to learn seven different languages.