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Posted by / 25-Mar-2020 05:59

Right dating

Maybe they are a bartender, and you wish they'd be a lawyer instead. Maybe you find yourself wishing they'd cut their damn hair already.

Maybe you go along with them to their favorite band even though you hate the music, or you accompany them to a gallery even though you'd rather be doing something else, but you do it grudgingly. If you're with the right person, you'll want to do what they want to do, even if it's not your cup of tea, because you want to support them. So for the love of all that is holy, turn on the light.

So in order to determine if casual dating is right for you, it’s time to formally define this kind of informal dating process and weigh the pros and cons of this type of casual connection. In the most basic sense, casual dating is when you enjoy spending time with someone and are looking to get to know him or her better, but you aren’t committed to this person in any way.

Additionally, while you may have a strong physical and emotional connection with this person and engage in “date-like” activities together, you’re free to date other people and pursue other options simultaneously.

You get involved, you fall in love, you throw caution to the wind, you scream "YOLO" in the face of a potentially incongruous match, you wind up spending a few too many months (or years) with someone who is not ultimately the right match. Don't get me wrong: I don't regret any of my relationships, and I am so grateful for all of the things I've learned via people I've dated.

When I was younger, it was easier for me to get involved with someone simply by virtue of his jawline or cultural cache or general bad-boy nature. These days, I'm healthier, which translates to valuing different things — namely, happiness and compatibility and mutual understanding and appreciation, aka a good relationship.

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And you can't imagine having better sex with anyone else, ever. There's always better sex out there, with someone with whom you truly relate on a heart level. I didn't know I knew — I agonized over the relationship often, and "didn't know what I wanted" and "cleared my head" and struggled and puzzled and questioned.